Back to Roots!!!!

How does a 4 day trip to Rajasthan, to visit only places of worship sound to you..well to me atleast, it doesn't hold much of an appeal. I am not a deeply religious person, though yes I am spiritual but, temple hopping has never brought out my religious instincts. In fact to be honest, I visit temples only because of some sort of fear maybe, and thats the reason I couldn't say an outright NO for this trip. But I guess, God did have other plans for me, and did want me to change my views regarding him.
So, I started this trip with a sense of resignation and not much of enthusiasm, after all the tricks I knew which would prevent me from going failed! Actually I have nothing against God, the only thing I truly dislike is the behaviour of the so called 'Men of God' (i.e.the purohits) who actually dont even let you get near your maker, unless of course you are willing to warm their pockets with 'DAKSHINA'. And my dad is a veteran at this game with the purohits(sorry dad!!). But everything said and done, the first temple we visited left me spellbound, not only because of the grandeour, but more so because of the innate peace which surrounds you the moment you enter the temple. I also happened to visit our Kuldevi's temple, and trust me, the silence and the beauty in and around the temple, right in the middle of the desert is so beautiful, you actually tend to forget that you are so used to the chaos in the city. It felt so right to be there. In fact people who know me would probably be shocked at this revelation which I am sharing now. The funny thing about our religion is, that because I am a girl, I am not supposed to worship my Kuldevi. I am not supposed to perform any ritual which my parents or my brother performed. I am just supposed to meekly bow my head and seek her blessing, thats bcoz I will get married off some day and my in laws kuldevi will be my kuldevi then. Gosh!, isn't that wierd, but trust me, I didn't feel any outrage there. I pride myself to be a true blue feminist, but I was at peace in the temple, I didn't frown or question anything. I guess there are some things way beyond our control, and way above anything we can fathom. Another thing I am not comfortable with is huge crowds in temples, you cant even spend a minute with god and speak to him. And as God
We went to visit my native place, my granddad's birthplace(we call it des :)), and the surge of human emotions I felt there just cannot be put into words. I felt so humbled at the simplicity of people, their apparent joy at seeing someone of their roots but from the city. My sister and I felt like a foreigner visiting Rural India, taking pictures of our haveli, the cow shed, the people just about everything.
But this trip has left me with a sense of unease. I have become so detached from my roots in the race to achieve something, that after getting it, I may be even looking at the closest of people with the same sense of foreign emotions which I experienced while visiting my native place. In fact, this trip was the first in 6 yrs with my family for me, so I guess the apprehensions I felt were more to do with the fear of awkwardness I may feel, spending nearly 12-15 hrs only with family, than to do with my disinterest in visiting temples.But, I have come out richer in experience definitely and I hope to retain this and cherish this experience.